Being in a long-distance friendship has taught me a lot—not just about maintaining these relationships, but about friendship as a whole.
At this stage in life, every lesson feels crucial. I’m learning everything from managing finances to preparing for interviews, dressing well, and even cooking.
This long-distance dynamic has been a lesson in patience. Sometimes my friend has exciting gossip but can only share it later, and I have jokes that have to wait until the weekend.
Ginger and I are still figuring out each other’s schedules. She’s a night owl, while I’m an early riser. She wakes up at 10, and I’m up at 7. We’re learning to wait for each other. Patience hasn’t always been my strong suit, but this experience has certainly tested me!
Just as we create to-do lists for work and chores, we should have one for friendships. Mine includes keeping track of my friends’ projects, scheduling regular calls, sharing fun content, and attending their virtual events. I tend to forget about my friends when they’re not around, so I have to constantly remind myself that I have friends who care about me.
Earlier this year, I felt guilty about being the distant friend. I struggled with jealousy when I saw them having fun with others. I’ve since learned to redefine what “fun” means and embrace our long-distance friendship.
Making this work means scheduling check-in calls with Michelle every three months, joining Wairimu’s book club, and discussing our readings. Most days, it’s about sharing memes and laughing together, curating playlists with Wambúi and Stanley, sharing podcasts with Easter, and enjoying playful banter with Gitau.
I feel that society—especially social media—tends to focus on in-person friendships, the ones where you meet up regularly. I’ve learned to validate my role as a long-distance friend. Sure, I can’t meet you for cocktails every Friday, but I can still connect through messages, funny videos, and social media interactions. I love my friends, and I know they love me back.
By the way, have you ever been in a long-distance friendship? If so, what tips do you have? And to my friends—both mentioned and unmentioned—are you happy with our friendship? Should I send more fun content your way?
